The Encounter. Vayigash.

Happy Solstice! 

Whether you have just completed the 8 day cycle of lighting lights, or are getting ready to acknowledge the birth of baby Jesus into the world,  the time of miracles and coming of new light is upon us. Literally.  Even if you don't pay much attention to the rituals or spiritual logic of the deep winter's renewal - one thing is certain, days are about to get longer.  Beginning on Dec. 22 we will have more sun in the northern hemisphere -  an awareness that can, hopefully, begin to 'lighten' some of the heavily layered thinking around Covid fears and the ancient wounds that 2020 has brought to the surface. ( not to mention any feelings that might be coming up during 'holiday season.') 

This week’s Torah omens and energies, amplified by the lingering Chanukah lights and the return of the sun's presence in our day, offer an excellent opening to our biological and spiritual families to reunite, at least internally, in order to forgive and heal past wounds. Whether coming together  literally, digitally, internally, or imaginatively, this week's main energy focuses around the unification of a (sacred) family divided by the hardest of emotions; shame, self-blame, guilt, hatred, anger, and longing. The emotions the brothers and father of Joseph carried, each in their own way, after selling their brother to fate. 

This week is a favorable time for the victim part of ourselves, that carries the wounds of our childhood, to tap into the Joseph energy and allow for (multiple) emotional releases. Take special notice how his deep acceptance of the divine unfolding of life frees every player in his story from the burden of guilt they might carry for negatively affecting his life.  

This week's guide for personal work is supported by several models of growth in the family system. Try to sense into one or all of these archetypes and see if their recovery shifts anything within your personal story. 

 1- The BULLY aka the brothers, represented by Judah, the brother originally responsible for suggesting selling his brother into slavery -- we see him now taking full accountability and responsibility for his action. When faced with the same situation (having a brother put into slavery) he would rather trade his own freedom then inflict on his father and brother another wave of trauma. The truth and depth of his self-adjustment and total surrender of control melts Joseph and allows him to reveal himself and unleashes the revelation of secrets.

 2- The VICTIM aka Joseph the one sold into slavery who spends over a decade in prison, and now holds the fate of his brothers (and the entire region) in his hands. Nullified to the mystery of the universe, it is his forgiveness and genuine tears that release the entire family system from the impenetrable guilt. We can learn from Joseph- who is able to express emotion at such an open range that Pharaoh hears his cry -- how to become whole again, and to take notice of the emotion around healing. He has utterly forgiven. He sobs without shame or restraint. He radiates the knowing that it was not his brothers, but a divine plan that placed him now able to save his entire family from famine. There is no room to hold a grudge. 

3 - The PROTECTOR aka Jacob, the father that unknowingly sent his beloved son out to meet his fate. The father who carries a grief and pain that will not be soothed.  It is only with the news of his son being alive, that comes after decades of suffering, his light comes back and with it a connection to source energy — A lesson that helps us to understand the way guilt and grief blocks our divine connection to source and can depress an entire family system. 

4- The INNOCENT - the baby brother, Benjamin who is left to grow up with a missing brother, grieving father, guilty brothers and without a mother who died bringing him into this world. His half brothers must have avoided him altogether or gave him some weird extra attention he couldn't understand, and lived as a constant reminder to his father of the pain and suffering, and loss in this world.

During the reunification Joseph cries on each of his brother’s and his father’s neck, but only his brother Benjamin could cry back. The victim and the innocent reach a place of such deep surrender to the mystery that they, at least in that moment, break the spell of brothers (or toxic masculinity). With their tears they unlock the waters of the inner planes that melt our stiff neck. A blessing of tears inherited from their mother Rachel who is known to cry for all of Jacob's children's return. 

And so, if you feel like the victim in your family, a part of yourself that you sold into internal slavery, or you are suddenly aware that yelling at your kids or beating up your brother might have caused problems - for them and the entire family - in ways you didn’t imagine when you were doing it, there is hope. It is possible for the masculine to reconcile itself.  This week supplies the power to stop the cycle of self torture, anger, hatred and abuse that gets passed from one generation to the next. Harness the Torah energies emanating in this week’s narrative to discover a way to feel through and release those emotions in a new way. 

Find a model that works for you. The accountability, surrender and tshuva (self-adjustment) of Judah, the emotional release of Joseph and Benjamin, Jacob’s-release of grief , all blessed by the Pharoah himself. And use the omens of this week’s narrative to reconcile the wounded and hurting masculine parts in the family and within ourselves. 

Questions to consider:

How has your anger blocked you?

Are there places in your family system you have felt victimized? 

Are there any places in your family system you have victimized another? 

How has guilt blocked you?

In what ways are you able, like Judah (the messianic line) able to make a complete adjustment in your life?

Where can you relieve parts of yourself or family or world around you by seeing the true presence of light in all? 

The victim of a family trauma is able to release the entire family's wounding with forgiveness which includes an external revelation of love that the victim is able to release the entire family from guilt with a clear faith in divine unfolding.

A few last notes. Along with emotional reconciliation, reunification and relief is the way Joseph handles the outside world.  We see the way he respects his position and constantly is in communication with Pharoah as well as the way he manages the famine. This week he introduces a system of governance and taxation that affects us until today. We can ask whether these systems are good, why Joseph created them, and how the trust in a centralized government helps the people. 

And finally, inspired by Rb. Amichai Lau of the Lab/Shul's post - this is a time to think about famine. After all it was the famine that triggered the movement of the story and the relief of suffering. How are we helping with food insecurity during this pandemic?  

** whether the famine is physical, emotional, mental or spiritual - 

Wishing everyone a happy solstice, and strengthened week of internal and external reconciliation and forgiveness.